Perhaps you’re torn, too, with regard to this question of gay marriage in Maine.

You love America because it’s the land of the free, where people can do what they want without fear of government intrusion. You also want a country where everyone is treated equally under the law. That part of you thinks that if people want to marry, no matter their sexual preference, they should be allowed to do it.

But perhaps you also want some kind of authority in the government standing up for morality. That’s where this issue of gay marriage gets complicated. There are few issues in modern America so divisive as gay marriage. Freedom-loving people throughout America are understandably struggling with how to proceed.

Homosexuality, for thousands of years, has been considered immoral. The Bible, despite what revisionists tell us, preaches against it. Islam preaches against it. Secular societies, save Rome in its dying days, have traditionally outlawed it. But in supposedly enlightened Europe, it’s accepted. And it’s starting to be accepted here as well. Not so much so that parents want their kids to grow up gay, but, more than ever, homosexuality is viewed by popular culture as an acceptable lifestyle.

How far we’ve come hit me last week while watching news coverage of the gay marriage public hearing in Augusta, at which legislators sought input from both sides of this issue. I was struck by the words uttered by a sorrowful little girl. She was lamenting the fact that a family member of hers, who was gay, wasn’t allowed to marry. The girl’s words, muffled by tears and filled with emotion, surely won over many who saw her on TV. And those Mainers she didn’t immediately win over are probably thinking twice about their stance against gay marriage.

I truly feel bad for the little girl, and I have thought a lot about her cry for help. She must truly believe that there is no difference between gay marriage and traditional marriage. She just knows that she’d be happier if all her family members were free to do what they wanted. But emotion is never a good way to decide a matter, especially one with such importance as the definition of marriage, an institution that has been the foundation of civilization and one of the few things the world’s different cultures have in common.

I’m a proud conservative. Part of that means I don’t like to tinker with things. Preemptive invasions of other countries, amending the Constitution to fit modern thinking, changing God’s pronoun from a “He” to a “he” or “she” are all problems for me. If something has been a certain way for thousands of years, it should probably stay that way. Gay marriage is anathema to people like me. The very thought of changing something that’s been around for so long scares the living daylights out of me. I am not that bold. A social revolutionary, I proudly am not.

I prefer yesteryear. The way things were. Yeah, to some extent, I agree with Billy Joel who sang, “the good old days were not always good,” but for issues of morality, the good old days were indeed good. In terms of gay marriage, if the Bible, which decreed and created the very notion of marriage, says it should be between a man and woman, who am I to advocate for anything different? You could read me a whole list of reasons why gays should marry or even cite polls or studies, but on such a moral issue, I’m going to side with the source of morality, the Bible.

I’ve known several hard-working, tax-paying, church-going, America-loving gay people. But even though I consider them friends, I still don’t want the government granting them marriage licenses. Some may think that position insensitive, narrow-minded or homophobic. Whatever label you give it, that’s what I believe, and I can’t convince myself to think otherwise, not even after witnessing the display of emotion from that sad little girl at last week’s public hearing.

So, on this question at least, I guess I’m married to my conviction. I just wish I knew if my conviction is the product of my genetics or my environment.

John Balentine, of Windham, is a former editor of the Lakes Region Weekly.

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