Since 1900, the life expectancy of Americans has jumped to 80 years from 47 – essentially double. Now, scientists studying DNA and other molecular bio-dynamics are developing drugs and machines that could double that figure again in the next century.

And that should scare the bejesus out of Mr. Romney and his super-rich buddies when they realize that with so many more poor Democrats in the world, sooner or later they will have to share a bit of their loot – much sooner than another century. The United Nations estimates that within only a decade or two, life expectancy of women will rise to 100 years (men are projected to lag behind because of the strain of making excuses for coming home late with booze on their breath, or neck muscle weakness from excessive head turning to ogle).

By means of a questionnaire conducted throughout southern Maine, Lucius Flatley, professor of agronomy at the University of Maine in West Paris, together with a team of Biddeford social scientists, conducted a poll on how people viewed this increased longevity. The questionnaires offered a choice among four possible ages: 80, 120, 150, or forever.

Setting aside a small scattering of loopy “cryologists” – like the group keeping Ted Williams’ super-frozen head ready for the day medical science can provide him a new bionic body, or the few that eternally hope the Red Sox will amount to something – there was considerable disparity within the respondents. While the scientists expected the age of the respondents – and perhaps the sex – to have an effect on their answers (someone already at 80 is apt to view 100 differently from someone who is 40), the results seemed to reflect at least one apparently unrelated – but large – influence.

Politics.

Practically none of the folks in the less-affluent towns wanted to live past 80. These people were afraid that the Republicans might win in November and they don’t look forward to the poor farms with which the GOP will replace Social Security and Medicare. The prospect of more years simply didn’t seem to appeal to them. On the other hand, most Cape Elizabeth and Falmouth respondents wanted to reach at least 100 – with a significant percentage going for higher choices. While some worried that, since tax rates are already so low, the Republicans would be left with no more tax breaks for the 1 percent, most of them remained satisfied that Harvard MBAs can continue to squeeze profits out of downsized or broken-up companies for the benefit of venture capitalist managers. They believe, against all reason, that the tax plans of Mr. Ryan would really work.

(A small subset of this group didn’t want to pay to support prisoners who lived past 80, but since most criminals were in jail for marijuana ingestion, they were afraid to have such dangerous characters roaming loose.)

Many political independents were grouped around the “live to 100” choice. When asked why not higher, they ndicated they could not stand any more of Donald Trump, Rush Limbaugh, Joe Leiberman, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi or Sarah Palin. Ron Paul was felt to be OK because he is already unchanged from 100 years ago and is likely to remain unchanged in the next 100.

Researchers also are working on a wide range of machines that tap into the brain activity, allowing computers to operate the body. However, as long as elections can be controlled by humongous TV advertising, there is little danger that such computer achievements will ever reach their full potential – because the billionaires who are attempting to select the U.S. senator from Maine will not permit electronic thinking which, after all, might be impervious to their blatant bullpoop on TV.

Ever since the younger Bush and his science advisers retreated to Texas, scientists have experimented with stem cells that can grow into different specializations. For example, urologists have grown human bladders and urethras that have been successfully transplanted into patients. That development is viewed favorably among men already a bit advanced in age.

After all, there is nothing more dear to most elderly man than the thought of a comfortable pee.

Thought for the week

A penny saved is a penny earned: During the presidential election in ‘08, $7 billion was spent on U.S. political campaigns. This year it is forecast to increase to $10 billion.

Rodney Quinn, a former Maine secretary of state, lives in Westbrook. He can be reached at rquinn@maine.rr.com.

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