With the Mayan apocalypse now proved a bust, we know we now have to deal with 2013. Each year at this time, we turn to a Current Publishing tradition in using the most sophisticated technology available in the newsroom for predicting events in the coming year – the Magic 8 Ball.
It’s proven to be popular with readers, or at least no one’s complained. So, with a new year here once again, we shook this somewhat unreliable and occasionally vague fortune-telling machine in order to answer some serious and not-so-serious questions.
Q: Will we all fall off the “fiscal cliff?”
A: Definitely.
Q: Will Pike Industries find dinosaur fossils while blasting in its Westbrook quarry?
A: Absolutely.
Q: Will South Portland’s Broadway get a bike lane?
A: Maybe.
Q: Will the Gorham arsonist reappear in the next year?
A: My sources say no.
Q: Will casino plans once again appear for Scarborough or Biddeford?
A: Absolutely.
Q: Will a monorail be built to alleviate traffic problems around Southern Maine Community College?
A: Cannot predict now.
(Wait five minutes.)
A: Cannot predict now.
(Fine.)
Q: Will Windham’s sewer proposal resurface in 2013?
A: My sources say no.
Q: Will the ducks enjoy the renovations to Mill Creek in South Portland?
A: As I see it, yes.
Q: Will Westbrook’s Olmsted Field get new lights next year?
A: Better not tell you now.
(Wait five minutes.)
A: Better not tell you now.
(Jeez.)
Q: Will Standish residents finally get their own beach on Sebago Lake?
A: Outlook good.
Q: Will lobster prices rebound in summer 2013?
A: Most likely.
Q: Will Olympia Snowe announce a run for president in 2016?
A: Don’t count on it.
Q: Will Twinkies return in 2013?
A: As I see it, yes.
To show we are all about accountability here at Current Publishing, here are some predictions the Magic 8 Ball made a year ago.
Some went well:
Q: Will Republicans remain the majority party in the Legislature following the 2012 election?
A: Very doubtful.
Q: Will President Obama win re-election?
A: Outlook good.
Others, not so well:
Q: Will Westbrook residents see a new building at the site of Maine Rubber on Main Street?
A: Cannot predict now.
Q: Will a new artificial turf field at University of Southern Maine be considered for the 2013 Super Bowl?
A: You may rely on it.
Happy New Year.
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