DEAR HARRIETTE: After a swim class, I went into the shower immediately and forgot my towel. I realized my forgetfulness too late, so I was stuck with either putting my chlorine-filled bathing suit back on or quickly streaking to my locker. I had just showered, so I tried to cover myself as best I could while walking the 30 feet to my belongings. As I was passing, a woman rolled her eyes at me. This was in a locker room, and although I know times have changed, people used to be naked in there all the time. I didn’t want to do anything that would bring attention to me, so I pretended to not see her get angry over something that people have the right to do in locker rooms. If this were to happen again, I would snap back, but my best friend told me I am not certain why the woman was rolling her eyes and may be hypersensitive. I think there is no other possibility than it being at me! – Streaker, Syracuse, New York

DEAR STREAKER: Relax. It is hardly the end of the world that you forgot your towel. I’m sure you were as discreet as you could be under the circumstances. Hopefully you won’t forget your towel in the future, but if you do, there’s no need to “snap back.” Instead, stay focused on getting to your locker and getting dressed. A locker room is a place where people commonly are naked, if only momentarily.

• • •

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to think there was a social etiquette regarding headphones. Specifically, that if someone had his headphones in, he did not want to be spoken to unless it was absolutely necessary. I guess I must have made that up, because my girlfriend will speak to me regardless of what I’m doing at home and expect me to listen. It’s been driving me nuts; I like to have my personal time, but if she wants to tell a story or speak to me for whatever reason, she will say it from across the apartment and get peeved that I didn’t listen. I didn’t even hear her speaking! I told her I’d like to have some quiet time when I have my headphones in, but she insists her stories and questions are quick and important.

I have wanted to bring up the fact that it is unspoken social etiquette not to bother someone when he has headphones in. Am I in the wrong, or is my girlfriend in the wrong? – Quiet Time, Detroit

DEAR QUIET TIME: In order to have peaceful quiet time, you and your girlfriend need to talk about boundaries, expectations and ways of living together. As much as people may love each other, learning to live together is a completely different matter. Schedule a time when the two of you bring your ideas to the table – your likes, dislikes, preferences and habits. Learn about each other’s pet peeves, and figure out how to give each other the space to be yourselves and stay connected. That includes agreeing on how to respond to headphones!

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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