DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a falling-out with a friend from college. We’d known each other for about four years, but we never had any substantial conversations. We recently ran into each other and had an exchange on social media. On New Year’s Day, she texted me and asked what I was up to because she wanted to see me later. When I responded and asked her what she was up to, her response was that she was naked in bed. I got uncomfortable – usually I receive texts like this from someone I’ve known well for years, or it’s someone trying to flirt with me. I asked to call her, and when we spoke (after some protest from her), I made it clear that I just wanted to be friends and explained that I was a little uncomfortable. She responded by saying that she was not trying to flirt with me, and I would know if she was.

After a few more texts, she decided not to come over, even though I told her she was still welcome to come if she wanted. After thinking about it for a few days, I’m realizing I may have made much ado about nothing, and I’m wondering if I should apologize. What do you think? Did I overreact, or was I within my rights to do what I did? – Doing The Most, Washington, D.C.

DEAR DOING THE MOST: Trust your instincts. This woman was definitely flirting with you. Had you taken the bait, you would have a completely different story to tell. That you did not required her to save face, so to speak, by acting like it was no big deal that she told you she was naked in bed. Believe me, that is not common conversation for people who are friends, let alone people who are not close. You have no reason to apologize. If you are not interested in her intimately, just move on.

• • •

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am concerned about my stepfather’s health. He turns the ripe old age of 70 this year, and he has had a lifelong struggle with diabetes. Although he has always had some poor habits – such as smoking a pack a day and eating too many sugary foods – his habits have gotten worse since my mother’s death six months ago. About four months ago, he stopped taking his diabetes medication and remains steadfast in his refusal to change any of his habits. His doctor told me that if this continues, he predicts that my stepfather will die in nine months. I don’t want to see him go, especially not this way, but I don’t know what to do. I know I could keep a better eye on him if he lived closer, but he refuses to move. How can I get him to start taking his medicine again and cut down on the smoking? Is there any kind of action I can take to make him move? I’m really at a loss over what to do now. – Family First, Philadelphia

DEAR FAMILY FIRST: Sadly, I have gotten a number of letters on the topic of family members living with diabetes. This disease is far too common in our country and is extremely difficult for many people to control – even though it is possible to do so. Your stepfather is battling sadness over the loss of your mother, as well as this disease. Tell him you love him and want him to live. You can also plead with him to follow his doctor’s orders. Ultimately, though, it is his call.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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