PENOBSCOT — We’re in the “whoosh zone” – the vertiginous final weeks of a school year when the number of exciting and challenging events seems to defy the laws of time, space and motion. You wonder: How can all these things fit into the available space? Yes, we have begun the wonderful glide down to summer on extended wings. It will all fit. It always does.

It fits better with forethought. Step back: What’s really going on here? Are we in unfoldment mode, or crisis management? Do we have the analog view of where we are on an emotional, curricular and cultural continuum?

Every school celebrates closing and transition in different ways. We are closing the books on projects and various academic studies, perhaps regressing a bit in terms of some social-emotional learning, but also consolidating the gains in other areas. We are fully “inhabiting” our new level, be it “first-graderness” or “parent of first-graderness.” And even for the veteran teacher, each school year has its own unique flavor and texture. Or it should.

A wise kindergarten teacher colleague of mine knew how to alert parents about what they should expect. Annie sent an email full of useful coordinates of all kinds. She spoke to experienced parents, whose youngest child is coming through kindergarten, and initiated into the world of whoosh those going through it for the first time. She sent home the following:

“Here are a few things to expect as the school year draws to a close …

Unusually whiny and complaining children.

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 Problems between friends.

 Total illiteracy – they don’t even know the alphabet now. They don’t understand math now, either.

 Complaints about teachers (we never help them); food (we don’t feed them) and all special subjects (they never go to shop, science, art, music).

 Your children will complain they never: get called on, have a turn, go first, play outside, get picked …

 Severe bossiness, questioning, nail biting, tripping and skinned knees.

 Trouble separating.

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 The occasional shove, push, hit, and they will be as surprised to see this happen as we are.

Trouble sleeping, late nights …

“All this is normal, and happens at the end of every school year in kindergarten. It is how the children cope with anxiety about moving to first grade, perhaps at a new school, and the end of kindergarten. We also see them at their very best.”

Annie puts parents into the right journalistic framework: Observe the story your kids are experiencing; know that it is their age-appropriate version of events, and stand by as their experienced guide. Don’t mistake their experience for your own. Then she adds a mini-consultation for parents.

“Now this is some of the behavior that you will notice about yourself:

Unusual tendency to complain about food, teachers, public school, private school.

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Excessive nostalgia, the last singing assembly, the last woodshop class, the last recess game.

Concern about your children’s friends and their relationships.

Anxiety about whether your child has learned enough to tackle first grade, wherever they go to school. (Be assured, they have!)

Severe bossiness, a wish to micromanage your child’s behavior, bedtime, reading, friendships even more than is called for.

Trouble separating.

Tears, trouble sleeping, worries, especially in the middle of the night.”

I wish every parent and child had an experienced teacher like Annie backing them up, so that the whoosh zone felt exhilarating – driving, not driven by the excitement of transitions and transfers of all kinds. It is kindergarten this year, but even long after schooling is completed, we face moments of heightened expectation and curious bumps and curves in the road. Our inner kindergartner may persist in our lives for quite a while – even when we become parents ourselves. The vantage point Annie provides, gaining a little altitude on what we’re feeling, helps us navigate. No matter what size shoes we wear, we’re working on balance, composure and the temperament of maturity.

Of course, beneath the surface of all the visible activities, there’s another, quieter adjustment taking place. Just when every child has grown into the shoe size of their current grade and feels as if they fully inhabit their current “gradeness,” the next grade, and bigger shoes, appear on the horizon. Summer can be a good time to begin savoring next year.

 


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