All of us, on some level, have been aware of the divisiveness in our community and country. There is also fear that we can’t or won’t be able to heal this divide.
We often have become so attached to our assumptions, our labels and our judgements that separate us, that we have lost sight of the values and beliefs that form a common ground, as members of this amazing Scarborough community. Many of us have become stuck there. At Scarborough Community Connections we believe it is the people, not just the government, that can lead this healing. It will take courage and willingness. If you want to be part of that change, here are a few questions to consider that may guide you in that process.
Living without an agenda
Could our minds and hearts be big enough just to hang out in the space where we are not entirely certain about who’s right or wrong? Could we have no agenda and walk into a room with another person, not know what to say, not make that person right or wrong? Could we see, hear, feel other people as they really are? It is powerful to practice this way because we find ourselves rushing around to try to feel secure again — to make ourselves or them either right or wrong. But true communication can happen in that open space. Pema Chodron
Observe who you associate with and who you don’t. Do your friends all seem to share the same values as you do?
What are your top three most closely held values?
How have those values influenced your life?
What are the values you hold that you assume those who are different from you don’t share?
Are you willing to have a conversation with people who have a political or some other label different from yours?
Having a conversation with those whom we perceive are “unlike” us and listening to understand our differences is a place to start the healing process.
We believe that the conversation starts with finding our common core values with others.
Here are some links to more information on healing the divide:
Essential Partners: www.whatisessential.org
National Institute on Civil Discourse: www.nicd.arizona.edu
Civil Discourse: https://www.aacu.org/publications-research/periodicals/plea-civil-discourse-needed-academys-leadership
Scarborough Community Connections is a group of volunteers that formed in 2018 to bring residents together to engage in civil dialogue. As we strive to be a neutral gatherer of the people in this town, our goal is to: build relationships and build trust with a diverse set of community members; identify pressing and potentially divisive issues; convene a variety of events (virtual, in person, small, large) that invite members to engage in facilitated conversations on particular issues; and Increase understanding and identify the ways in which we agree and disagree. While moving toward consensus is desirable, it is not always the goal.
We welcome people to join us. If you would like to be on our distribution list, please send your contact info to : scarboroughcommunityconnection@gmail.com
You can follow us on Facebook at Scarborough Community Connections.
And look for our next Zoom event in January for a gathering to practice these skills with others in the Scarborough community.
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