In 1952 or ‘53, while I was an undergraduate student at a small, men’s college in one of the western suburbs of Philadelphia, the college received an invitation from a small, women’s college in a northern suburb of Philadelphia, to join them the following Saturday about 7 p.m. for a mixer, to better get to know each other. And so, several car loads of Haverford students made the trip to Beaver College, presented themselves at the lobby of a pre-specified dormitory to be assigned a female partner or date for the evening dance at the college gymnasium nearby.
The presiding lady distributor-of-dates-for-the-evening took one look at me and said something to the effect of “We’ve got one for you right over here,” pointing to a pretty, dark-haired woman.
I said, “Hello.” And she replied with a question. She said, “I’m a Blackfoot Indian, would that make a difference?” And I said, “No, I don’t think so.” And she turned her back on me and walked away quite deliberately. I never saw her again, but have always wondered what I had done wrong.
This combination of photos shows a section of the Berlin Wall, top, at Bernauer Strasse where the Berlin Wall divided the city during the Cold War and the same location Nov. 3, 2019. AP photo/Markus Schreiber
Should I have said, “Oh, yes! That would be wonderful, I’ve always wanted to meet a Blackfoot Indian.”
I am sensitive to the pressures and stresses in this sort of situation, because I am a retired college teacher, who taught the Russian language, literature and culture during the Cold War era, and have watched my own four boys playing, not cowboys and Indians, but Americans and Communists, where mine were required to play the part of the “bad guys” or Communists, because their father taught Russian. It’s tribalism.
Perhaps it’s the same sort of “tribalism” that we now see playing out between the Republicans and the Democrats in our current presidential elections. I don’t know. It seems to me that “tribalism” is good if it makes you feel good about yourself and makes friends for you, but when it alienates folks, who otherwise might like you and help you in times of need, then “tribalism” is a very bad thing.
I’ve been wanting to set these thoughts down for 68 years or so, but I still have no idea of what I was supposed to say in answer to her question, “I’m a Blackfoot Indian, would that make a difference?”
I still don’t think it should make a difference. After all, you’re unique – just like everyone else.
Orrin Frink is a Kennebunkport resident. He can be reached at ofrink@gmail.com.
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