We are supposed to sell our house. Our kids are in college and we should right size, reduce expenses, convey to another family a structure and land that for years have sheltered our family of five with pets, too many (some even buried here – pets, that is). We should embrace the real estate circle of life and let go, right?

I have lived in Maine my entire life, and I view our house and property as vast by my youthful standards, but it is not. What is gigantic is the list of irreplaceable events and memories in this one place, including numerous sports and games, holidays with extended family and a very special wedding ceremony on a beautiful spring day in 2005.  We also have treasured neighbors who include active, young kids (reminding us of years past); wandering chickens that forage under our bird feeders until our dogs (the “girls,” as we call them) are alerted, and, to round it out, a neighbor who mows his lawn too much but also happens to be the nicest person you will meet. We even abut a beautiful cemetery that displays the history of prior families from this very land, with one headstone dating to a 1776 burial. Our children have known only this one house, and for our family we can never replace this setting, location and history.

Nevertheless, the value of our house right now is stupid, and it increases each month. We are supposed to sell, right? When will it end? What will it look like? You might be cautious if offered concrete answers to those questions. Who really knows? For us, we have been working through this puzzle for some time now, touring other houses, driving our Realtor-friend crazy, and considering values we have never imagined. You see, what we also know is that we are supposed to be ready to make an instant offer, well above the asking price, all cash, and with no building inspections. To be clear, no one is suggesting to us that we should do all of that, but the comparable sales data reveal a difficult truth. Yes, we are living in an alternate universe.

OK, we should buy land, then, and build, right? Well, as Mark Twain wrote, “Buy land, they’re not making it anymore,” and it seems the world (us included) has been trying to do just that – find a patch of soil suitable for a house. Our goal is idealistic: Build smaller, more efficient, stay in the same area, etc. An easy task, right? Well, maybe not. I will not give up, but sadly, that is only half of the equation. What if we find land – how can we afford to build? You have heard the quotes by now, “Have you seen the price of a 2×4 or piece of plywood?” By downsizing and building new, we actually may end up in the same financial situation as today, and likely in a location that is less desirable.

For those needing to buy, whether moving to our great state or having sold already here, I have tremendous compassion for the stress they must feel. The need-to-buy predicament is a major contributor to the frenzy and price-pressure, especially when they are competing with each other. For those starting out, I am sorry where this leaves you today. It is a vast difference from when we started out 25 years ago.

For now, there is nature, history and life all around us where we live, something not completely appreciated during our busier child-rearing years. We thoroughly enjoy our children returning from school and breathing youthful energy into the house, but we equally enjoy when they leave again and we are left with peace (and pets). The only thing I know we “should do” is have gratitude for each day we live here. The stress is self-served, and for us this real estate dilemma should not be viewed as a problem. Selling our house is fun consideration and analysis, a homework assignment, if you will. Selling our home – well, that is another matter.

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