Is civility dead in America?

There is a meanness spreading all across this nation that is dividing us and putting our very survival as a democracy in deep peril. Nowhere is it showing itself more dangerously than in the foundational institutions and establishments in the nation’s capital.

Congress is paralyzed. The Supreme Court politicized. The presidency being whipsawed from the left and held to be illegal on the right. In our time, no lie is too big to be spoken – or believed; no attack is too vicious or outrageous not to be launched; no hatred not to be welcomed by millions; no degradation of American icons not found imperfect and memories erased; no movement toward authoritarianism not being encouraged, shockingly, by some elected Americans and cheered on by citizens.

The closed-minded attitude of “I’m 100 percent right; you’re totally wrong” is not confined to one battalion of the Great American Political Divide. Mutual respect, seeking out the best thinking, reasonable compromise, is all too rare on either side. We here in Maine are not immune, as can be seen, for example, during political campaigns

The unspoken but mainly adhered to civil contract of democracy, that largely kept venomous speech and destructive action at bay, has been shattered. Its shards, since Jan. 6, 2021, lie scattered on the floor of the U.S. Capitol.

I think back to my years as a U.S. Senate press secretary more than a half-century ago. Of course there were opposing opinions, and strong disagreements. But mostly the words and music were different. During his first year in office, more than 80 percent of the bills sponsored by my Democratic boss were cosponsored by Republicans. His relationship with his fellow New Hampshire senator, a conservative Republican, even when taking opposing views, was warm and collegial. Such also was the case here in Maine with such Senate leaders as Republican Margaret Chase Smith and Democrat Ed Muskie.

Senate highlights always included the often hours-long floor debates between Democrat Hubert Humphrey, the majority leader, and Republican Minority Leader Everett Dirksen. They were well thought out, adversarial, often humorous – but always respectful, and without a trace of rancor.

Even though I worked for a Democrat, one of my buddies was Don Chang, a top staffer for Sen Hiram Fong, Republican of Hawaii. Saturday lunches often included a staff chief to ultra-liberal Sen Eugene McCarthy, while Friday night poker games were attended by a member of ultra-conservative Sen. Barry Goldwater’s staff.

Of course public life was not perfect then, but the defects largely were the result of a few really bad apples and the usual rough-and-tumble implicit in a democracy. For the most part though the anger was heated but passing, not bone deep and personal, as it is today. And, importantly, the doors to communication were kept open.

These days, one of my friends is a conservative who votes differently than I do. It would have been easy, I suppose, to have ended the relationship at the beginning, But we and our families have found a way to live together, because the alternative leads down the dead-end road the nation is on.

What might happen if people on each side of the divide decided to put rancor aside, and return to the days of that unspoken civil contract of democracy? Might we treat each other better? Might conversations begin? Might both sides find a new path, wish a better life for their children and grandchildren in a less divided America? Might they – and we – support candidates who pledged and worked toward that more civil America that includes everyone?

President Biden has rightly warned us that there are those who hold “a dagger at the throat of this democracy.” We had better get our act together soon, before that dagger rips a hole in the body of this nation that cannot heal.

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