There are a number of ways to ignore, disarm or reject unwanted telephone calls from folks you never heard of who want your opinion or your money, such as turning the ringer off or just hanging up. But that really doesn’t slow down the onslaught of nuisance calls.

Three suggestions for disarming those annoying robocalls. Budman

I suggest standing up to it firmly and with a bit of humor. It can’t hurt, and it strengthens your character to stand your ground and reply in good humor.:

First Telephone Survey Defense

Good Morning, Ma’am! I represent the Fairyland Survey Corporation, and we’d like to get your opinion on some very important issues of the day.

Well, I’m a professional consultant and I get paid for my opinion. It’s a hundred dollars per question, cash up front.

I’m sorry, Ma’am, but we don’t have funds to pay for your opinion, how about just some simple questions?


If I start giving it away for free, then I can’t keep on charging for my work. You need someone who doesn’t think their opinion is worth anything and is happy to give it away for nothing. But then, your survey will reflect the opinions of people who don’t think their opinion has value.

Well, then. You can wire me the money up front and I’ll be happy to take your survey. Thanks for the call! (and then hang up right away).

Second Telephone Survey Defense

Good Morning, Ma’am! If the master of the house is available, we’d like to have him take a short survey on some very important issues of the day.

Well, he’s home from the hospital today. Maybe he’s up to it. Tell you what – I’ll just hold the phone up to where his ear used to be, and you just talk gently. Go ahead, now.

(As the caller begins to talk, you let out a long, loud, horrible scream – AAAAAAGHH! – and then let the telephone drop gently onto the table or counter top, so it goes bangety-lumpety-thump and then hang up right away.)


Third Telephone Survey Defense

Good Morning, White House Communications Center.

This call will be recorded for future use by your attorney, as needed. Ha! Ha! Gotcha there, didn’t I? No, seriously, this is Joe Biden speaking and you know, I’m really glad you called – we’re running out of funds down here and wonder if you’ve got any you could send along – sure could use some right about now. Now what’s on your mind today? (and then hang up right away).

Orrin Frink is a Kennebunkport resident. He can be reached at [email protected]

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