“You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em

Know when to fold ‘em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run.”

While cleaning out our house in preparation to move to Thornton Oaks, Tina and I constantly faced the question: Keep, give away or pitch? Some decisions were easy; others were not. One of my “nots” was the issue of my two sets of golf clubs. One set was mine; the other one I inherited from my younger brother Tony after he died.

Tony and I grew up next to the second tee of an old ratty public golf course in Parkersburg, West Virginia, which featured crabgrass fairways, countless ticks and a foul-smelling creek, which meandered throughout the course. Never mind that Worthington Golf Course wasn’t Augusta or Pebble Beach. We were hooked. Tony went on to establish a plus-2 handicap; he even tried to qualify for the Senior Tour when he turned 50. I got down to a 3 handicap, although anyone who’s seen me play in the last 20 years would never believe it.

I’ve played very little golf in the past five years, and I knew in my heart that I’d never play again. I asked a good friend if he’d like to give my two sets of clubs to his grandsons. He said, “Yes,” and the decision was easy.

I used to love running. In fact, I’ve completed six marathons. When I tell people I’ve run marathons, they sometimes look at me with a blank expression and change the subject to the weather or something. I can no longer run because of various health issues, but walking is probably better for me, anyway.

We seniors must often decide what to keep and what to give away. The decision sometimes involves non-material, keep-or-pitch questions.

Should we cling to friendships that no longer seem to be working for both parties? That one can be painful, although people change and needs change. (And new friendships can be deeply rewarding.)

Should we maintain our do-or-die political affiliations even though “our” side no longer aligns with our beliefs and values?

Should we try to break some old habits or conclude, given our limited time left, “What the hell. No one can tell me not to eat onion rings or have an extra glass of wine or two at dinner.”

Should we reexamine our religious beliefs — or non-beliefs — from time to time? Socrates may have been on to something when he said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”

Should we change our reading habits to accommodate who we’ve become? Since I began writing flash fiction four years ago, I’m more drawn to novels and short stories. I like to examine how a writer created this or that character or setting or conflict or plot twist. On that front, I feel sad when people say, “I used to read a lot but I don’t anymore because …”

Should people in a bad marriage always stay in the marriage “for the sake of kids?” If so, how long? Sometimes after people separate one or both parties decide the other person wasn’t so bad after all. They return to their spouse and things eventually work out. Or not.

Many first-year college students believe they made a bad choice and begin to explore transfer options. Most of them don’t follow through. They might have done well to heed the wisdom of Cassius: “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.”

Hopefully, as we age we get better about deciding when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em. At the same time, we should remember that no one wants to be around someone who constantly yearns for the good old days. As my mother once said, “The good old days they are no more and, what’s more, they never were.”

Shakespeare’s wisdom in Hamlet endures in the words of Polonius who said to his son, “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not be false to any man.”

David Treadwell, a Brunswick writer, welcomes commentary and suggestions for future “Just a Little Old” columns at dtreadw575@aol.com.

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