In the early spring of 2023, over steaming cups of tea, I huddled with my friend Erin in the children’s section of our local bookstore, a sanctuary from the blustery winter storm outside. We whispered about the taboo subjects middle-aged women like ourselves often shy away from hormonal shifts, night sweats and insomnia. Yet, these developments are ever-present in our lives, affecting our well-being, our relationships and our sense of self.

For years, I’ve confided in friends about the challenges of midlife: balancing family, career, finances, aging parents and relationships. These are the everyday struggles that define our lives, yet they’re often rarely spoken about, if at all. As we navigate the tumultuous perimenopausal and menopausal years, many of us find ourselves searching for answers that our doctors, despite their best intentions, are not always equipped to provide. One friend, desperate for sleep after six sleepless weeks, was met with a dismissive “Have you tried melatonin?”

Needless to say, she had.

This sense of being on our own to figure out complex and deeply personal issues without adequate counsel and shared wisdom is all too common.

We tell ourselves, “I’ll be fine,” even when we’re not. We silently carry the weight of our responsibilities, unsure of where to turn for help, or even if it’s OK to ask for it. Yet, I believe deeply in the power of community – in processing struggle and hardship with others, whether that’s with family, close friends, or even a group of strangers. Vulnerability makes us feel more human, more connected, and ultimately more grounded. It allows us to put our challenges into perspective and better understand our place in the world.

The pandemic only intensified our need for connection. The forced isolation brought about by lockdowns was a double-edged sword – some found relief in the pause from daily obligations, while others felt the deep loneliness that comes with prolonged separation from loved ones. The pandemic offered us an unexpected gift: a chance to reflect on what truly matters, to focus on self-betterment, and to reevaluate our lives.

Now, as we emerge from this period of isolation, the need for meaningful conversations about the challenges of midlife is more urgent than ever. Our country is at a critical juncture, and finding common ground through shared experiences is a powerful way to connect and support one another.

It was this need for connection and mutual understanding that inspired Erin (Cochran), my husband Nathan Perkins and myself to create the Midlife Conference. We wanted to offer a space where individuals could come together to explore the challenges and opportunities of middle age – a time that is too often overlooked in our cultural dialogue.

At our first conference last year, more than 100 attendees from across New England gathered in Maine. Building on that momentum, this year’s conference will deepen connections in our local community, highlighting the unique perspectives and experiences of midlife in New England. By fostering a space for open dialogue, we hope to create a lasting impact that strengthens the bonds within our region while offering meaningful insights for attendees from all walks of life.

We delved into women’s health as we age, the complex dynamics of male relationships, the factors hindering emotional intimacy, and how to define individual career success. We also explored financial planning through the lens of behavioral finance and social responsibility and took a deep dive into the potential of integrative medicine to promote long-term well-being.

Our first conference was not without its challenges. Shortly before the event began, tragedy struck our community when Robert Card, struggling with mental illness, committed a heinous act of violence against our neighbors in Lewiston. Despite the fear and uncertainty, we made the difficult decision to proceed with the conference, taking extra precautions and consulting with police, speakers and attendees. The shooting underscored the urgent need to address mental health in our society — a topic that remains under-discussed and under-addressed. Mental health is just one of the many critical issues we aim to tackle.

This year in Rockport, key themes will include personal growth, navigating transitions, finding purpose and addressing the mental, emotional and physical aspects of aging. Through dynamic discussions, interactive sessions and shared experiences, the conference aims to provide attendees with tools and perspectives to embrace midlife with confidence, fostering a sense of community and connection in the process. All of these issues are present in life or one way or another, and we’re promising to provide a venue that gives you an opportunity to speak honestly and in a supportive community. It’s a perfect way to seal in learnings and connections to sustain you through the coming Maine winter.

We invite you to join us to explore these shared experiences and challenges in a space designed for honesty, support and growth. Whether you’re seeking practical advice, deep connection, or just a moment of reflection, we’re offering an opportunity to engage with others to explore and relish in your unique midlife journey. Don’t miss the chance to foster these connections, gain valuable insights and equip yourself with tools to navigate the path ahead – while surrounded by the solidarity and insights of a community that truly gets it.

themidlifeconference.com