I guess maybe my driving days are numbered because at 87 perhaps I should give it up, and so I shall, any day now. Right now I’m not driving outside of the boundaries of my beloved adoptive hometown, Brunswick, and I’m avoiding driving at night. Can I still do both? I can. But I think in the interest of all that’s — well, all that’s something or other, it’s maybe time for me to at least ponder on not driving anymore out of consideration for all who may be on the road on foot, bike or car at the same time I am driving. Right now, it’s not a problem, ah but isn’t that what we always say as we pretend old age has passed us by?

But that’s not the reason for today’s story. Today I was asked to drive a relative to her doctor who happens to be in Brunswick. It was daylight and it was Brunswick, so I said, “Sure.” I picked up a book I’d been enjoying and drove to her residence, got her into my car and off we went. We arrived safely at her doctor’s address, she went in to see him, and I settled into the nice, quiet waiting room and opened my book.

But just like people who sneak looks into other people’s medicine cabinets, and oh come on, you have too, I began to sneak looks at all the people waiting their turn with the physician. It was with a great surge of superiority I realized I was the only one in that huge room reading a book. Everyone else was working their phones. Ha. I had a total smug attack.

But then I realized that perhaps they were reading on their devices. Or maybe they were scientists who were researching the cure of a horrific disease. Perhaps they were sending money to some disadvantaged people. In my self-hypnotic state of superiority I decided that my holding a book instead of a cell phone made me better, and believe me folks, I’m no better than anyone anywhere ever. I had no way of knowing of course what those folks were doing on their phones, and I’ll admit here to being one of the last Americans alive who does not own a smart phone. Yes I do own a cell phone but it’s way low shelf and all it can do is “Hello, Goodbye,” “I’ve Been Busted for Speeding,” or “I’ll Be Home in 20 Minutes, so Start the Fish Sticks.” That’s it. I mean considering that I spend 95% of my day sitting like a great wad in front of my elderly but very able computer, why should I carry a smaller version of one in my pocket or purse when I have to run errands? Do I really have to know what the temperature is in Guam while I’m picking up a few avocados? Hardly.

But there I sat anyway with my book and looking at all those people who all had cell phones and each of them, to a person, were engrossed in swiping and tapping with their thumbs. Do we not realize that because of those cell phones, probably in less than 100 years all babies will be born with their faces turned down, stubs for legs and 8-inch-long thumbs?

Do I sit around my home reading “The Iliad”? Will Durant’s “The Story of Civilization”? Well, of course that’s exactly what I do on most days, but then that’s just me. But I did feel weird today holding a relic of long gone days in my hands, and actually reading it. It was so warm and quiet and nice in that waiting room today, so that when those cell phones began to ring I was startled and my head always jerked up. But not my waiting room comrades. No. The rings came, they looked harder at their devices, but oddly not only did they not do much when their phones rang, they did a few extra clicks and went on tapping. No conversations at all. They listened and swiped and worked those thumbs, but no Hello’s. But then, I was grateful to not have to listen to what can be embarrassingly personal phone calls. But were they answering those calls? Messenger? Text? I have no idea. Yeah, I am clueless about such things and intend to stay thus.

I will however again mention that recently a young man, his head bent down and his thumbs working his clearly very important incoming phone messages, stepped in front of me in a cross walk where I was halfway through, going extremely slowly, and when I jerked to a stop and honked he most kindly acknowledged my presence by shooting me the bird. To be polite I shot one back. As we all know, that expression of greeting is universal and appropriate for all ages. So there you have it, two more raisons d’être for me to stop driving and to never ever own a smart phone.

LC Van Savage is a Brunswick writer.