In the fall of 1863, after the bloodiest year of the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln declared that a day was coming when the country would be united once again. During his Thanksgiving proclamation, Lincoln spoke of hope and community, to come from a national day of gratitude we now call Thanksgiving. He hoped that it would bring together American communities and keep the country strong.

In the fall of 2024, it has become clear that it will take more than a national day of thanks to keep our country together. It will take forming bonds with people that stretch across political fissures to keep our national community strong against the dividing forces of a Trump administration.

The first step in forming bonds with people you politically disagree with is to understand why someone would hold their political beliefs. It’s not always the easiest thing to do, but here is one take on that.

In a survey done this summer by CNN, 39% of Americans said they worry about paying their bills. But during the presidential campaign season, Trump was the only candidate who seemed to address the issue at the same magnitude as people felt it. “Inflation has been a killer for our country. No matter what you’re making, it doesn’t matter because inflation is eating you alive.” This quote from Trump at July’s Republican National Convention, while being inaccurate and dramatic, acknowledged the fears that 39% of Americans found in the CNN survey.

To contrast, in a statement this previous summer put out by the Biden-Harris administration from Harris, she said, “This landmark bill [Inflation Reduction Act] has already delivered for American families.” Though inflation did decrease substantially during the Biden administration, it hasn’t been enough to quell the fears of over a third of Americans. This left those voters, who were struggling to put food on the table, feeling like they had no choice but to vote for Trump.

And while the false pretense that Trump created the great pre-COVID economy remained prevalent on channels like Fox News, it was hard to dissuade voters that a candidate with bad economic policies was better than one who rarely acknowledged economic hardships.

Additionally, when trying to understand why someone would vote Trump into the Oval Office, it’s important to examine the election as one of circumstances and not morals. A million people didn’t vote for a convicted felon to run our country because they thought that was morally right, they voted for him because they thought he would protect them and their families from violent crime and economic hardship.

The second step in forming the kinds of bonds we need for a stronger community is to give grace to the past, and acknowledge our pain and the pain of our fellow Americans. Trump’s approval rating tends to be the lowest while he is in office, meaning voters might regret making him president, but that doesn’t give Kamala voters a free “I told you so” pass. Instead, accepting that we cannot change the past will help us give grace to it, and move forward with a bit less animosity.

Additionally, to be a trusted messenger of information for another person, to show them why Trump is only for himself, you need to show them that you have their best interests at heart. You can do this by acknowledging the pain they felt when they cast a ballot for Trump, whether it be economic stress or feeling out of place or lonely. Sometimes their reasons for voting were painful, and knowing you care can go a long way in terms of forming a bond.

Last but not least, move forward with love. Our care for our neighbors, our colleagues, our friends and our family has kept our country together since its founding. It is apparent in little interactions with strangers, care in a community after a tragedy, or simply at the Thanksgiving table. This love is what Lincoln hoped to encourage in the fractured America he lived in 161 years ago. If we keep giving love, even to people we can’t quite fully understand, it will make our country stronger.