There is an old wooden trunk full of ugly sweaters in my mom’s bedroom.

Some of these sweaters are pullovers and some are button-downs. Most were acquired in thrift stores, yard sales and by other second- and thirdhand means. Many contain the highly questionable large floral patterns of the late ’80s and early ’90s. But what all of these sweaters have in common is that they are made of 100 percent wool. The itchy kind.

When I’m the only person at home, I usually keep the thermostat at about 55 degrees. It’s not a super-comfortable temperature. That’s where the trunk of sweaters comes in. One of those keeps me toasty, so I can both save money on fuel oil and cut household greenhouse-gas emissions (because I’m burning less fuel). (If you are wondering about the dog’s temperature, don’t worry – she has a sweater collection, too, but hers are cuter.)

Anyway, I think about climate change every single day, and while there are basic solutions we should enact immediately in order to stave off the worst effects of dumping greenhouse gases into our atmosphere, including a carbon tax, investments in renewable energy, eating a plant-based diet and the end of government subsidies to oil, we may also have to come up with some more creative solutions.

So I had the idea: What about government-subsidized wool sweaters?

Seriously, Maine is full of sheep, and presumably spinning wheels, and I know for a fact we have a ton of knitters. Why not a program that gives every resident of the state a properly fitting wool sweater? It would support locally owned businesses and artisans while at the same time helping people to cut down on their heating bills and the attendant pollution!

(Mom asked me: Why not wool blankets? While cheaper and easier to produce, blankets are inconvenient to wear when you have to move around the house. Trust me, I have tried every technique of wearing a blanket, and they always find a way to slide off.)

While we are at it, I think we need to bring back horses in a major way. They can be used for transportation (who doesn’t love horse-drawn carriages?) and agriculture (plowing, hauling). And, unlike many creatures, their poop is actually useful as fertilizer. We would definitely have to beef up animal welfare laws, of course, but for a quick run to the grocery store, why shouldn’t you just be able to get a pair of horses to trot you a couple of miles? (I haven’t come up with the app name yet. “Karriage”? “HorS”? “Pony Up”?) Maine has plenty of space to raise horses – maybe we could export them to other states. And besides, once Scarborough Downs eventually goes belly-up, there will be quite a few horses out of a job. Growing the amount of hay needed to feed the horses would involve a great deal of carbon capture. Not to mention all the carrots for treats.

We are a state with a great deal of windy coastline, which means we should get offshore windmills going as soon as possible. Despite the good it could do for our state, the economy and the environment, a small number of people who don’t want to have to see a windmill on the horizon will complain to the high heavens and the local zoning board as soon as this is suggested.

But you know what else Maine has in large quantities, in addition to sheep and wind? Artists. My proposal is the homeowners and horizon-viewers who would be within eyesight of a windmill or wind turbine or floating energy platform receive an exclusive piece of artwork from a local Maine artist. Painting, sculpture, mixed media – whatever their preference is, they would get beautiful art available to nobody else to hang in their living room to look at when they got tired of the ocean views that now would include a windmill.

I fully admit these are silly suggestions, and not universally applicable. (Nobody needs wool sweaters in Hawaii.) But the simple solutions to the problems caused by climate change – including, step No. 1, stop making the problem worse by burning fossil fuels – have been ignored for years. People just aren’t willing to do boring, practical things that might not make them a bunch of money, even when the future of our livable planet is at stake. And if you don’t think climate change is a problem, just take a look at Maine’s rising rates of Lyme disease, carried by ticks, which are spreading faster than we can pull them off. So my hope is, maybe people will respond to silly (but creative) ideas instead. Maybe sweaters and horses and artwork could really help.

After all, what have we got to lose?

Victoria Hugo-Vidal is a Maine millennial. She can be contacted at:

themainemillennial@gmail.com

Twitter: mainemillennial

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