It is a snowy February morning. My 4-year-old granddaughter and I walk through tunnels of snow to get to her school by 8 a.m. When we arrive, Rachel puts her lunchbox in her cubby, and I help her remove layers of winter clothing.

We receive a warm greeting from her teachers, and then settle into a few minutes of play before the chime rings indicating it is time for parents and grandparents to leave.

She and I love this time together. She takes my hand and leads me to a table where three other children are playing with magnetic cubes. She begins to gather a few cubes of her own and starts to build alongside the others. Emma, a friend of hers who is sitting to my right, points to Rachel and says to me, “Does she have a mommy?” I turn to Rachel and suggest she might want to answer that question. She continues building and without hesitation says, “I have a Papa and a Daddy.” The information is gathered. The truth is spoken, and the play continues.

At that moment I recognize the power of the voices of children. This is no big deal. Two little girls exploring and comparing the makeup of their families. Emma comes from a family with a mom, a dad and a little brother. Rachel comes from a family with two dads and a little sister.

Who the parents are, whether there is one mom, one dad, two moms, two dads, only one parent, foster parents, adoptive parents, does not matter. What matters to all children is that they are loved.

The beauty of this simple exchange is that it demonstrates the ease with which children accept difference. Our children are the ones leading the way showing us the power of extravagant love that renders meaningless the superiority of one family construct over another. The gospels make it perfectly clear that the bottom line is love, and that love never has been and never will be gender specific.

Mark Nepo, poet and philosopher writes in his book, “The Book of Awakening,” that “transformation always involves the falling away of things we have relied on, and we are left with a feeling that the world as we know it is coming to an end, because it is.” There is a re-ordering of our bottom line. The moving energy of love is bigger than the fixed notion that parenting requires a mom and a dad.

“Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.” This simple line from a lesser known letter in the New Testament reminds us that the experience of love overrides the rigidity of dogma and that we are invited to listen to and learn from our children.

The chime rings. It is time to leave.

Ellie Mercer is a retired UCC minister and hospice chaplain living in Scarborough. She may be contacted at ellie.mercer0@gmail.com.

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