WATERVILLE — Chamique Holdsclaw doesn’t want people to think the way she did.

That depression and personality disorders are signs of weakness. That they can be swept aside like clothes under the bed. That no one can help. That you’re on your own.

Chamique Holdsclaw meets with coaches and staff at Colby College for a discussion on depression Thursday. She also screened a documentary entitled, "Mind/Game: The Uniquiet Journey of Chamique Holdsclaw." Michael G. Seamans/Morning Sentinel

Those issues dogged Holdsclaw through a memorable college and professional basketball career. Holdsclaw won three national championships, two Naismith Awards as the top player in women’s college basketball and made six WNBA All-Star appearances.

On Thursday she sat in front of a collection of Colby College coaches, opening up about a personal odyssey that included depression, therapy, a suicide attempt and an eventual diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

But for the 39-year-old Holdsclaw, the message isn’t about fear. She knows she’s not the only one with a battle to fight.

She wants to help.

“I want these kids to know that it’s OK to live in your truth, to get help and not be ashamed of it,” she said.

Chamique Holdsclaw’s basketball prowess spoke for itself through a college and pro career, including the Olympics. Now she wants to help those in a different battle.

Colby was the latest stop for Holdsclaw, who’s on a tour of Maine campuses that includes trips to the University of Maine, Bates and Bowdoin to speak about her experiences with mental health, and to screen and discuss “Mind/Game: The Uniquiet Journey of Chamique Holdsclaw,” a documentary on her struggles with depression and disorder.

The goal, Holdsclaw said, is to change the thinking regarding mental disorders and illnesses, which have wreaked havoc while being disregarded even by their victims.

“The No. 1 thing is changing the conversation around,” she said. “Really putting a face with it. People will see me, see my journey and start a conversation. That’s it. It’s something that we can’t run from anymore.”

It’s a message that resonated with the Colby coaches.

“Someone of her caliber as an athlete, it’s so easy to think that all is well,” men’s basketball coach Damien Strahorn said. “She’s one of, if not the greatest women’s basketball player of that time. To assume that everything is great, it’s really eye-opening to hear the story behind the story. … When you have someone of that caliber, it really draws the attention it probably needs to get the conversation going.”

Holdsclaw knows what it’s like to disregard mental health woes and the idea of seeking help. She did it herself.

Holdsclaw’s mother was an alcoholic and her father was schizophrenic, and though the situation got bad enough for Holdsclaw to move in with her grandmother, the turmoil left a mark that followed her through high school, her playing days for Pat Summitt’s University of Tennessee juggernaut and into the WNBA, where she starred for Washington, Los Angeles, Atlanta and San Antonio.

“I was operating unbalanced,” she said. “You’re performing at this high level physically but I didn’t have that balance in my life.”

Her solution to the problems was to pretend they didn’t exist.

She couldn’t, and when her grandmother died in 2002, the support system fell apart at Holdsclaw’s basketball peak. In 2006, she was hospitalized after a suicide attempt. In 2013, she pleaded guilty to charges stemming from an attack on her ex-girlfriend’s car.

“I was just tapped out emotionally and when I lost my grandmother, I think it just triggered all that stuff from the past,” she said. “I felt like I had no one. I felt like I was all alone.”

And that’s where the theme Holdsclaw carried into Colby comes in. She wasn’t alone. She had therapists to help her, once she found one she liked. She surrounded herself with friends. She had herself diagnosed and got a name for her troubles. Bipolar disorder was something she could research, something she could learn to manage.

“I’m up for that challenge, same way I was up for winning those games and being an Olympic athlete,” she said. “It’s the same (thought), ‘I have to dedicate my life now.’ ”

She knows she’s not cured and that she could have a manic episode tomorrow. But she’s healthier. She’s better positioned if it does happen because she sought help and embraced it, which is the message she wants people to take away.

“When you look at statistics, you have a lot of people that are out there dying, taking their lives,” she said. “We’ve just got to continue to share our stories and use our voices, our platforms, to let people know it’s OK.”

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