Susan’s sitting with her old friend Joe.

Olympia’s paired up with a guy from Alaska named Mark.

Chellie doesn’t have a date yet, but she has no doubt that after a little trolling, she’ll connect with someone from the Grand Old Party.

Same goes for Mike.

Welcome to President Obama’s 2012 State of the Union address, where, for the second year in a row, the buzz will be not about what was said, but rather who sat next to whom.

“Americans want our two parties to set aside partisan bickering, come together and reach agreements in an atmosphere of mutual respect and good faith,” noted Sen. Susan Collins in announcing last week that she’ll sit beside Sen. Joseph Lieberman, the independent (and former Democrat) from Connecticut, during Tuesday’s speech by the president to the joint session of Congress.

Added Collins, “This simple gesture demonstrates to the American people that Republicans and Democrats are willing to work side by side to seek consensus on our nation’s most pressing problems.”

Seriously? Is she talking about the same American people who, in a recent averaging of national polls by Real Clear Politics, said they disapprove of the job Congress is doing by a whopping 83 percent?

“It’s symbolic political theater of the worst kind,” groused lifetime Republican Chris Potholm, a professor of government at Bowdoin College. “It’s utterly useless and silly, and it’s not a substitute for them getting together and solving our nation’s problems.”

It all started last year when, in the wake of the shooting of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, D-Ariz., dozens of House and Senate members announced they would break with tradition and sit alongside someone from the opposite party during the president’s annual trip to Capitol Hill.

Around the same time, a national organization called No Labels seized on the idea as a much-needed antidote to what it accurately calls “hyper-partisanship and gridlock in our government.”

Hence, Mainers saw, in 2011, Republican Collins seated between Democratic Sens. Mark Pryor of Arkansas and Maria Cantwell of Washington state; Republican Sen. Olympia Snowe seated next to Sen. Mary Landrieu, D-La.; 2nd District Democratic Rep. Mike Michaud chatting it up with just-elected Rep. Reid Ribble, R-Wis.; and 1st District Democratic Rep. Chellie Pingree surrounded by her red-and-blue teammates on the congressional women’s softball team.

And this year?

In addition to the Collins-Lieberman match-up, we’ll have Snowe next to Sen. Mark Begich, D-Alaska, with whom she serves on the Commerce Subcommittee on Oceans, Atmosphere, Fisheries and Coast Guard.

“I’m sure we’ll spend some time talking about whose fish and moose are bigger,” noted Begich in their joint announcement last week, adding that he and Snowe share “similar passions” for protecting marine resources and, of course, creating jobs.

Pingree and Michaud, meanwhile, are keeping their options open. Or might they be playing hard to get?

“I spoke with her about it a couple days ago, and she said, ‘I’ll just walk over there where all the Republicans sit,’” reported Pingree spokesman Willy Ritch.

Echoed Ed Gilman, spokesman for Michaud, “He doesn’t, quote-unquote, have a date. He doesn’t do that. He goes down and sits on the other side and meets people — even people he’s never met before.”

(People like Republican Ribble from Wisconsin, whom Michaud didn’t know from Adam before they introduced themselves at last year’s speech.)

So what are we to make of all this elbow rubbing across the partisan abyss?

Depends on whom you ask.

“Anything we can do as elected officials to bridge the political divide, including sitting together at this important speech from the president at such a critical time in our nation’s history, is a positive step,” said Snowe in a prepared statement late Friday.

Collins, also in a prepared statement, lamented those “hard-liners on both sides of the aisle” who might look askance at this kind of thing.

That said, Collins conceded, “it would be naive to believe that the simple gesture of sitting next to a member of the opposite party will end the partisan bickering in Washington that is incredibly frustrating to so many Americans. In fact, the real work begins when the television cameras are turned off.”

Then there’s Pingree spokesman Ritch, who put it in terms even middle schoolers can get their heads around.

“I don’t know what (bipartisan seating) means to the public,” observed Ritch. “But I think the more time you spend with people, the harder it is to be really mean to them.”

University of Maine political scientist Mark Brewer doubts that when it’s all said and done, who sat where will “have a huge impact on what (Congress) is able to accomplish or how it goes about its business.”

Still, Brewer noted, if something so simple as seating produces an introductory handshake between Maine’s Michaud and Wisconsin’s Ribble, it can’t hurt.

“It’s clear that members of the public very much desire bipartisanship in Congress, they very much wish for it,” Brewer said. “And I think any kind of symbolism or any act that members can engage in that might signal to the public that ‘Yeah, we’re willing to behave in this fashion,’ I wouldn’t want to dismiss that out of hand as irrelevant. Because it could actually have some meaning there.”

Heck, it might even get you a little tipsy.

This year, No Labels has posted a “No Labels SOTU Toolkit” to help Americans hold their own bipartisan State of the Union viewing parties.

It includes a drinking game for watching Obama’s speech: “If the President mentions bipartisan seating, take one sip from your drink. If TV anchors mention bipartisan seating, two sips. If Republicans and Democrats stand and cheer together …”

Just don’t invite Bowdoin’s Potholm.

“I’m thinking this is sillier and sillier the more we talk!” chortled Potholm. “Look at the national debt — how much bigger has it gotten since we’ve been talking?”

Hmmm … according to the U.S. National Debt Clock, that would be somewhere around $9.6 million.

Bi-party on.

Columnist Bill Nemitz can be contacted at 791-6323 or at:

bnemitz@mainetoday.com

 

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