September 29, 2013

Bill Nemitz: Last-place ranking is LePage's

(Continued from page 1)

Pssst ... Governor ... didn't you already cut taxes, eliminate miles of regulatory "red tape," erect all those "Certified Business-Friendly" community signs and declare war on wind power because you think it will cause a spike in electricity costs? And yet you keep digging ...

"This is just a start," you continued in your carefully worded statement. "It will take more than two-and-a-half years to reverse 40 years of economic damage inflicted by liberal politicians."

Geez, Guv, I wish you'd told us that back in 2010. That way I wouldn't have spent the last two years, eight months and 24 days (but who's counting?) waiting to see Maine's fiscal ship begin to rise from the bottom.

But enough with the excuses. Between me, you and your political adviser, Brent Littlefield, it's pretty clear all this Maine-hating by Forbes is about to become one heck of a political boomerang.

Useful as "worst state for business" was to you in knocking off Democrat Libby Mitchell and independent Elliot Cutler three years ago, so will it now be a weapon in Cutler's and Democrat Mike Michaud's hands as we hurtle toward your day of reckoning a year from this November.

Say what? Enough about Forbes already?

Done. Let's talk haircuts. I don't know what impressed me more on Friday -- Department of Environmental Protection Commissioner Patty Aho's pledge that she'll dye her hair pink if this year's Maine State Employees' Combined Charitable Appeal tops $300,000, or your subsequent promise that you'll do her one better and shave your head should they raise $350,000.

Part of me wants to go with Aho: Call me a sentimentalist, but the specter of Maine's industry-friendly environmental watchdog bathing her own head in chemicals makes me feel tingly all over.

But the other part of me is rooting for you, Big Guy: Just over a year ago, you called Maine's state employees "corrupt." Now, straight razor in hand, you're offering them a once-in-lifetime opportunity to cast you as a meth-crazed chief executive on "Breaking Bad."

Sheer brilliance, Governor, sheer brilliance. In fact, if it all goes as planned, "Governor LePage Meets Uncle Fester" could well rank among the nation's best political stunts of Election 2014!

Quick, someone call Forbes.

Bill Nemitz can be contacted at 791-6323 or at:


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