DETROIT — Charlie Sheen and his “goddesses” took the stage to thunderous applause Saturday night for the first leg of his “Torpedo of Truth” tour. The 70-minute show hadn’t even ended when the first reviews were in, and they were brutal.

The former “Two and a Half Men” star showed that comedic success on the screen doesn’t necessarily translate to the stage, and the capacity crowd at the 5,100-seat Fox Theatre rebelled before he left the stage, chanting “Refund!” and walking out in droves.

Linda Fugate, 47, of the Detroit suburb of Lincoln Park, walked outside and up the block yelling, “I want my money back!”

She said she paid $150 for two seats. “I was hoping for something. I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

Fans who gathered outside the theater before the doors opened said they were hoping to see the increasingly eccentric actor deliver some of the colorful rants that have made him an Internet star since his ugly falling out with CBS and the producers of “Two and a Half Men.”

They got the ranting. It just wasn’t funny.

“I expected him to at least entertain a little bit. It was just a bunch of ranting,” said Rodney Gagnon, 34, of Windsor, Ontario.

The 45-year-old Sheen kicked off his month-long 20-city tour Saturday night, with the second show scheduled today in Chicago.

“I don’t see a single empty seat,” he said.

After one audience member booed, Sheen sanguinely replied, “I’ve already got your money, dude.”

Sheen had said rapper Snoop Dogg would perform at the show, but he didn’t. Instead, the show ended with a video for a new Snoop Dogg song before the lights went on.

More than a little stargazing for Cruz

LOS ANGELES – Oscar-winning actress Penelope Cruz, 36, unveiled her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame Friday, flanked by actors Javier Bardem, her husband, and Johnny Depp.

The event is timed ahead of next month’s release of “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” in which she stars with Depp.

The Spanish star says that when she came to the United States in 1994, she only knew how to say “How are you?” and “I want to work with Johnny Depp” in English.

She jokes that now, she knows how to say “I want to work with Johnny Depp again.”

Music awards, dirty words: Country couple sees sevens

LAS VEGAS – Miranda Lambert has a warning for The Academy of Country Music Awards producers: Keep a finger on the “bleep” button.

She’s worried her fiance, country music artist Blake Shelton, may let fly with one of the seven dirty words barred on network TV as he joins Reba McEntire as co-host of the show tonight at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.

“He’s so quick and good at ad-libbing — probably too good at ad-libbing,” said Lambert, the lead awards nominee with seven. “My advice to CBS was a three-second delay, ’cause you never know what’s going to come out of his mouth.”

Shelton, known for his quick wit and saucy jokes, says he’s going to try to keep from disappointing McEntire, a longtime friend who doesn’t always find his antics funny.

He’s been advised to stick to the script, but isn’t making any promises.

“If I don’t get fired, then I haven’t done my job,” Shelton quipped.


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