DEAR HARRIETTE: Overweight and self-conscious, I decided to make a lifestyle change. I threw out all of my junk food at 2 a.m. and decided I’m through with excuses – I am going to bring my body back to health. I ordered a meal delivery plan that gives me all of the meals and drinks I need for the day. I felt the difference after a few weeks, and now others have noticed my slimmed-down physique. However, I have begun to miss going out to restaurants with my friends or on dates. I don’t think it’s allowed, let alone socially acceptable, for people to bring their own food to a restaurant, so I go without fun dinners.

I want to find a way to stay included in the social act of eating without compromising my diet and wasting the money I spent on my delivery plan. – No Food, No Service, Baltimore

DEAR NO FOOD, NO SERVICE: Until you have your weight and eating completely in control, you should not compromise your plan by going out to eat. This, by the way, is one of the downsides of any strict eating plan, especially those that deliver food, but if it is working for you, keep it up.

Suggest other activities to do with your friends. Be honest with them. State how much you miss them and that you want to get together. Many people would be happy to replace going out for drinks with going for a walk or a run. Consider the classic movie date with a walk afterward so you can talk. Invite your friends over for a social gathering at your home, where you can control the food and drink and still have a great time.

• • •

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a child in my teens. He is now on his own, and I am nearing 40. I have a great husband and five amazing dogs. I get told, “Time is ticking!” and that I should have children, but I have no interest in raising another child. I am just fine with my dogs. I think it’s incredibly rude for people to give me unsolicited advice on how to live my life. My pets are my children now, and my son is an amazing and independent man. How do I deflect these comments pressuring me to have children? – Not a New Momma, Detroit

DEAR NOT A NEW MOMMA: You need to talk to your husband. This is really an issue between the two of you. If he wants to have a child, then the two of you must work through that and decide together if it’s something that you would like to do. Honestly, you should have talked about that before you married, but without question, you should address it now.

As a united front, the two of you can handle anyone who has questions about your family. When people make comments about you having a child, you can pivot and let them know that you and your husband – and dogs! – have a happy life. By the way, if you ever change your mind and have a baby, that’s great, too. Life is fluid. Go with it. As long as you and your husband are on the same path, you will enjoy the journey.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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