Last week, I attended a training on how to get our faith communities to recognize the needs of their members who are living in abusive relationships.

Safe Havens presented the training for clergy and lay faith leaders, domestic-violence prevention advocates and anyone interested in understanding the importance of a faith-based response to domestic violence. I attended as a layperson. I am a 78-year-old survivor of domestic violence.

Boston-based Safe Havens has provided workshops around the country, and they told us that they often hear, “Yes, we know that domestic violence is out there, but it is not in our faith communities.” It is easier to pretend that it is not in their place of worship than to have the courage to address the physical, spiritual, emotional and psychological needs of their members who are living with abuse and violence.

When was the last time someone in your faith community stood up and spoke about domestic violence? When was the last time they said, “God does not want you and your children to live in a home that is not safe, filled with violence and abuse”? When did they tell you, “We will help you find the professional assistance and the resources available in our area”? Seldom or never.

There are some members crying silently, pleading for help out of abusive relationships. They fear being rejected by their fellow churchgoers. They worry about the many challenges they’ll face if they leave. Paramount is their concern for their children’s welfare.

Shouldn’t our faith communities be the safe place for victims of abuse to turn to and find love and compassion? I will leave it up to you to answer the question and have the courage to challenge and change what is happening your faith community.

Mary Louise Liucci-Smith

Scarborough

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