We dogs will agree that we had a good life until two months ago. Nothing could disturb my day after the humans were off to work or school.
Sure, I might have to put up with the dog walker at noontime, but the rest of the day was mine. It was quiet, two squares a day, and no one shooing you off the couch.
Then, sheltering-at-home closed schools and all non-essential businesses. Soon, a dog could get dizzy with all the constant, swirling motion in the house, the blaring music, and non-stop TV, all reaching SPCA intervention levels. My only peace is when I can sneak under an empty bed, so I can hide and then sleep and dream of what was.
Walking the dog has become an integral facet of the day for many during the COVID-19 pandemic. Gregory Rec photo/Press Herald
With everyone now at home 24/7, the only positive for me was the upgrade in my dog bowl chow. The “new normal” is comfort food, and my human parents now let me eat it off my own plate. When Mom and Dad used to eat out, they’d come home with a doggy bag of exotic food. My favorite was Thai. No more of those culinary treats during the past two months.
During the “old normal,” my Dad would take me out for walks, because the earlier vows,“Please Daddy, we promise we’ll take a dog out,” were abandoned years ago.
After two months of lock-down, all my humans are desperate to get away from the bickering and family spats. No sooner do I get back from a walk with dad and another family member, eager to escape, is impatiently waiting to take me out again. A dog’s paws weren’t designed for all this walking.
Big walking changes though, because dogs must now be on a leash for something called social distancing. What’s a walk if a dog can’t stop, circle a couple of times, and sniff another dog’s posterior?
Working from home means less getting out in the car. I loved my own open window, where I could stick my head out, feel my ears and mouth flapping in the wind, and drooling everywhere.
Our beaches are locked down, so I can’t see my four-legged pals, sniff some rear-ends, run off-leash like the wind, or follow up with that sexy black lab that I’ve been scoping out.
We used to pull up to a shiny window where mom would human chit-chat with the nice woman who always gave me a dog biscuit. Now we only go there at night. There’s a big metal box, but no large window or chatty lady, and certainly no dog biscuits. What a bummer.
I did hear them talking about a trip to my vet’s office so I could be fitted for a doggy mask. Governor Mills has ordered everyone to wear a mask, so I’ll have to get one. They know I drool, so who’s going to keep changing my wet masks? I can’t do it. I don’t have fingers.
Our car doesn’t go anywhere now. It just sits there at the curb. I think they need to call AAA. It looks like the tires are going flat, but what do I know? I’m just a dog.
Humans call it cabin fever, but it’s also getting pretty tough for us dogs. We’re tired of posing for your cutesy, goofy photos that you’ve been texting to your relatives, friends, and YouTube. We know you’re trying to convince them what fun we’re all having locked up together. We’re not.
A dog has no hope of legal re-course. Since that New York judge threw out the lawsuit which would have granted animals human rights, dogs can’t sue to protect their personal space, privacy, or sanity.
If you’re a dog person and want a happier dog during this crisis, cut back on the dog walking, and keep the comfort food coming, as well as the popcorn during our movie nights at home. Also, knock off the pathetic attempts to film your dog doing stupid dog tricks.
We dogs, like all of the rest of you, can’t wait for America to re-open and everyone can return to work, school, and having fun again.
Unlike us dogs, your problem as humans is that you can’t just crawl under a bed like us dogs and hide from it all.
Tom Murphy is a former teacher and state representative. He is a Kennebunk Landing resident and can be reached at tsmurphy@myfairpoint.net.
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