Jo Ann Withington, a woman of exceptional grace, strength and humility, passed away in her longtime hometown of Brunswick, Maine, on March 1, 2024 at 97. She loved her family most, but close behind were chocolate, reading books and summers spent in Harpswell.

She was the rock in a family of three daughters, four grandchildren and six great grandchildren. Born into a tight-knit clan in Melrose, Mass., she started her own family as a secretary at Governor Dummer Academy in nearby Byfield, where she met Frederic Withington, a teacher and coach a few years her senior, who proposed within a month of their first date, then married his bride on a radiant summer day in 1948.

Jo Ann and Ted gave birth to their three daughters, Susan, Sarah and Ann, at Governor Dummer, before moving briefly to Sidwell Friends in Washington, D.C., then to Morgan Park Academy on the southside of Chicago, which Ted was hired to transform from a military school to a college preparatory academy, and finally to Friends Academy on the north shore of Long Island, where Ted was headmaster for 22 years. In 1988, they retired to their home on Boody St. in Brunswick, and became doting grandparents and active community members.

Ted died five years later, at 71, and Jo Ann came into her own as a widow and matriarch to a growing family. Always chic, she became a leader of the local chapter of the League of Women Voters, hosted a book club, was a devoted member of the First Parish Church, patron of the Maine State Music Theater and Portland Symphony Orchestra, and a reliable presence at her grandchildren’s sporting events and dance recitals.

Jo Ann Elizabeth Souter was born to James and Eleanor Souter in Melrose on Oct. 13, 1926. James was a gregarious spirit and depression-era appliance salesman who adored his family. Eleanor raised Jo Ann and her two brothers, Don and James, while taking care of her own aging mother and keeping a beautiful house and gardens. Jo Ann described her mother as “indomitable,” and took after her.

After Jo Ann graduated from Melrose High, her mother enrolled her in Hickox Secretarial School, and then got her a job in sales at Gilchrist’s department store, which Jo Ann hated. So she applied to work at the Christian Science Monitor, then an international newspaper, where she was hired as a copy girl and heard incoming reports that allied forces had defeated Germany and then Japan in World War II.

She eventually moved on to Governor Dummer, working as a secretary in the administrative office of the all-boys school. There she caught the interest of Frederic Withington, a former Harvard track star and WWII bomber pilot. Their first date was on Dec. 7, and they were engaged on New Year’s Eve.

Jo Ann gave her life to her husband’s career — his contract at Friends Academy said “he would make the school his life and that of his wife’s.” And that is what they did. This meant long days taking care of her daughters alone, as well as neighbors’ kids as needed; hosting dinner and cocktail parties at a moment’s notice; and dealing with students and staff at all hours. It also had its perks; a nice house near campus, trips to conferences across the country, a sabbatical in England, and summers spent at their cottage in Maine, including many happy hours on their boat.

Elijah Kellogg, the famed minister and author, was Jo Ann’s great grandfather, and her own great grandchildren were the seventh generation to spend time in Harpswell.

She said she was not “college material” coming out of high school, but would become a voracious reader and made sure that her daughters got the education she didn’t. After moving to Friends Academy in 1966, Jo Ann became a children’s librarian, a job she enjoyed and continued for 17 years.

Jo Ann was surprised by her own strength after Ted was diagnosed with melanoma in 1983; they beat it together, but it returned and took his life a decade later. Her grief would eventually give way to a new chapter of independence that she relished. She made dear friends, spoiled her grandchildren and great grandchildren, and stood by her daughters through triumphs and trouble.

Jo Ann’s final years were spent at Thornton Oaks, a retirement home in Brunswick. She loved it; the dorm life she missed out on 60 years earlier. “At first I thought I didn’t want to be in a place with all those ‘old people,’” she wrote to the home’s director a year after moving in. “But I have come to realize that all those ‘old people’ are adults who have led interesting lives and have much to enrich our own!”

Jo Ann spent her final days with her three daughters and their families, and was lucid to the end. She leaves Sue Withington and her husband Tom Meyn, Sarah Withington, Ann Withington and her husband Michael Wojtal; grandchildren Ashleigh Klingemann and her husband Sven Klingemann, Colin Meyn and his wife Sukim Chum-Meyn, Emma Lorenzo and her husband Hector Lorenzo, and Andrew Wojtal; as well as great grandchildren Huyming Chum, Zoë and Lana Klingemann, and Dante, Lili and Simon Lorenzo.

At Jo Ann’s request, there will be no public service.

Jo Ann asked that donations be made on her behalf to the Pine Tree Society or First Parish Church in Brunswick.

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