Here’s a novel idea: Let’s put assault weapons in the hands of every red-blooded American who wants them, no questions asked.
They’ll be shipped off to any of the various hotspots of the world, given unlimited rounds – and unlimited freedom – to work off whatever’s eating them. No more languishing away in the murk of parents’ basements or toiling in the obscurity of shooting ranges.
We’ll include also the CEOs who preside over the manufacturing of assault weapons, as well as any member of the National Rifle Association aristocracy.
Though it’s true that some other people’s children may be harmed in the process, think of the American schoolchildren we’ll save.
Our government would do everything in its power to match personal animus with destinations around the world.
When our boys return, they’ll get richly appointed coffins, crisply folded Old Glories, the utmost bugle-filled solemnity. We’ll have a massive funeral parade and a memorial built of polished shells, complete with reflective pool. Thoughts and prayers by the truckload.
When the final salute is fired, the rest of us can then get back to preserving a freedom which none of us can do without: life.
Durin Chappe
Sullivan
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